The Portable Italian Mamma by Laura Mosiello Susan Reynolds

Author:Laura Mosiello, Susan Reynolds
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Adams Media, Inc.
Published: 2009-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 8

Our Lady of Italian Mammas

“God has more important things to worry about than who I sleep with.”

Cyndi Lauper

In the old days, the vast majority of Italian Americans were devout Catholics and the church played a central role in their lives. Today, many families aren’t as devout as the grandmothers, but many still consider themselves serious Catholics. For those families, their mamma and their church are intrinsically linked and being an Italian American Catholic is a very sacred thing. Italian mammas often find their local church a place of hope in which their intimate needs and concerns are addressed. Whether it’s going to confession, or simply praying to Jesus or the Virgin Mary, for mammas, faith fosters happiness. In fact, they use their religion to get through the day. If you have things that are bothering you, your mamma will be the first to tell you to pray on it, and then sweetly say, “Give it to God, and he will provide.”

Italian Mammas on Biblical Stories

Can you just imagine what an Italian American mamma would say about certain scriptures? We could!

John 2:1–11—The wedding in the Galilean Village of Cana where the family ran out of wine.

Italian Mamma : “Can you believe they ran out of wine?”

Italian Aunt : “What kind of wedding is this?”

Italian Mamma : “I know. And look at that showoff Jesus. He’s such a mamma’s boy. She says, change the water into wine, and he jumps.”

Italian Aunt : “I wish my son listened like that.”

Matthew 14:13–21—Jesus feeds a crowd of 5,000 by turning five loaves and two fishes into plentitude.

Italian Mamma : “That Jesus is some worker.”

Italian Aunt : “I know, if he came to work for us, we could turn out those tablets so quickly.”

Italian Mamma : “Moses could extend those ten commandments to 1,000 overnight.”

Italian Aunt : “Ten is enough.”

Italian Mamma : “Absolutely! My husband is still stuck on ‘Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.’”

The Three Wise Men Going to Visit the Baby Jesus

Italian Mamma : “Can you believe she gave birth to that baby in a barn?”

Italian Aunt : “I guess Joseph is really not providing”

Italian Mamma : “He’s not in the carpentry union you know”

Italian Aunt : “Really bad health insurance when you’re not in the union.”

Italian Mamma : “I know. And can you believe my stupid nephews were going to go there without bringing a gift?”

Italian Aunt : “Unbelievable. It’s like our brother raised them in a barn. Not too wise.”

Italian Mamma : “Thankfully, I had some gold, frankincense, and myrrh hanging around the house. I sent a Mass card too.”

Devout or Delirious?

Of course, there are a lot of eccentricities and over-the-top stories about just how devout an Italian Catholic can be. Most Italians have at least one crucifix in the house. They love (worship) the Virgin Mary. There’s always at least one Maria or Ann Marie in the family, and they love to name their boys after the saints. And, again, they often have quirky ideas about blessings and curses.

When Laura had to take the SAT, she was so nervous she felt like throwing up.

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